Be Humble - Kim Rittberg

[00:00:05] Speaker A: Hey, everybody, and welcome to the worst advice I ever got. I'm your host, Sean Taylor, joined by my producer, JB. And we're here to ask our guests to share the worst advice they ever got. Today we're talking with Kim Rittberg. Kim is an award winning creative executive producer in tv and video. She's worked with brands such as Bloomingdale's, Olay, Walgreens, Kia Als, Brew, and it gets better. She currently helps professionals become thought leaders and businesses become brands through video and podcasts, while being the host of a top 1% podcast herself called the Exit. Interview with Kim Rittberg. Kim, thanks so much for being here today. [00:00:43] Speaker B: Thank you for having me. [00:00:45] Speaker C: We jump right in on this podcast. What is the worst advice you ever got? [00:00:50] Speaker B: The worst advice I ever got was be humble. [00:00:54] Speaker D: Okay. [00:00:54] Speaker C: Be humble. That's very interesting, because that doesn't sound like such bad advice. Let's go a little deeper. How was be humble bad advice for you? [00:01:05] Speaker B: I think, in general, humility is praise. Does this, like, incredible, amazing attribute that we should all fight to have? But the truth is, in this world, you need to sell yourself, and I think a lot of us, myself included, walk into a room and you're either underestimated or no one knows who you are, because why would they? You're not the president of the United States. You're not, you know, this huge celebrity. And so I think the idea of be humble, like, in theory, it's lovely. Don't go around being a total jerk to everyone. But I think in practice, in your career, more people need to not be humble than the other way. Like, the people that I encounter that I work with. And for me, too, I wasn't struggling with being too peacocky. I wasn't walking around peacocking too much and bragging about myself too much. In fact, it took years for me to actually own my accomplishments, communicate them clearly but warmly and with humor. And really owning my own accomplishments has been the key to my success throughout my career. But definitely as a business owner now. [00:02:16] Speaker C: I do find myself all too often deflecting. When people try to praise me for something, I always tend to say, no, no, no, no. That wasn't me. That was my team. That was the process or whatever. And you're saying that can potentially slow growth or slow development or maybe even worse. [00:02:35] Speaker B: I think it really also depends on what position you're in. So when you're a leader and you're the top person, I think you have to share the accomplishment. I think you have to give other people credit, or they're not gonna. They're not gonna feel like you're on their team. They're not gonna come back to work and be like, I really. I felt seen, and I felt like my work was acknowledged. But I do think that when you're walking into your room, you're in sales or you're trying to get press, or you're trying to build relationships, and you show up just as, like, if I'm just like, hey, I'm Kim. Like, I help people make videos, you'd be like, okay, whatever. She's like, some wannabe influencer who's 24 years old on TikTok. Actually, I'm an award winning digital marketer. I've worked at Netflix. I was a tv news reporter producer for ten years. And for me to not share that with you, I am actually hurting myself, but also hurting you. [00:03:30] Speaker C: That act of humility, of underselling yourself, leads people to not completely understand you, first of all. So I didn't have a full context of who you are and what you do by simply saying, I make videos. [00:03:47] Speaker B: Absolutely. And I think that it's so many of us, I think, are we play too small, and maybe we think we're being humble or it's imposter syndrome, or we don't have the confidence. I think there's more people on that side than. Cause then I have people being like, no. Like, people brag, and everyone hates braggarts. If you really look around your office or you look around your peer group of business owners, do you see too many people bragging? I don't. I see people who come in. Right? [00:04:22] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:04:22] Speaker B: So I think it's more on the whole. Cause I've actually. I write for fast company, and so I worked on an article about how to brag in a way that makes people like you instead of gets you fired and. [00:04:35] Speaker C: Sounds like an art. [00:04:36] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. And it really is an art. And there were more articles about, you know, why bragging is bad and how to not offend people and truly think, just even anecdotally, do you feel like, you know too many people in your life that are bragging all the time? [00:04:51] Speaker C: No. No, I don't. I don't. That's a really interesting point, because we give it an immediate negative connotation. Oh, what a braggart. Or whatever. But I can't remember the last time I even had that conclusion about any interaction I was having. [00:05:05] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, I probably in the last, like, five years, I met one person and walked away thinking, oh, that guy was kind of a blowhard? [00:05:12] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:05:13] Speaker B: One person? [00:05:14] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:05:14] Speaker C: What's the next phase of, all right, avoid the humility. Sell yourself. But then how do you grow and go from there? What's the next step? [00:05:24] Speaker B: I think the idea of don't be humble is if you're in your company or corporate, don't hide your accomplishments. So as you have something good, just bring it up and make sure that it's being seen. A lot of times, we see that something happens and no one kind of acknowledges it. And whether that's an email or a conversation, and it doesn't have to be like, look at me. I did this amazing thing. But you can, you know, in an email or in a meeting and just be like, oh, I wanted to bring your attention. This thing happened. The client was really thrilled. I'm really excited about it. Hey, why don't we use that to follow up? So you're kind of using the accomplishment as an advancement of the company's goals. And then I think there's the opportunity with business owners where actually, I think that you're kind of are always having that 62nd pitch, and I actually teach people how to sell yourself in 60 seconds effectively. But I think there's a key to mastering that pitch in a way that's not obnoxious and very impactful and makes people like you. But past that, I think it's similar, which is, hey, I just got featured in X article. My takeaways of this are, and here's how you can apply it. Or, oh, I won these awards. This was the process that we went through for this project that I won these awards, or, I'm so proud we won the awards, because this company deserves to be known more. So I won six awards for this nonprofit project, two projects I worked on under my company. And so when I shared it, I said, I'm so proud to have worked on this. I shouted out all the people who worked on it, the creative directors, the talent, the producer, the company we did it for. But I also said, I'm proud of working on this because it's. It's a nonprofit that has huge impact. That's very important work. So I'm not just like, look at me, I'm amazing, but I'm really excited that I got to amplify that organization. And so it's how you frame it. [00:07:25] Speaker C: I want to circle back for a second, because when you got this advice, always stay humble. I didn't do a good job with you of digging into, did you take the advice and did it harm? Talk a little bit about how you came to realize it was not the best advice for you. [00:07:40] Speaker B: I have been taking that advice for way too long. I think that, you know, so there was this one moment where I was leading a 17 person video unit at Us Weekly magazine. So I launched their first ever video unit. They had like an empty conference room, and I made it into a basically live tv studio. We put out thousands of videos every month, millions of views every single month leading up to its hundred million dollar sale. I had a meeting set with a vendor and it was a feedback meeting about how I felt like their app could be improved. And it wasn't negative, it was just, they asked us and I wrote up this document of, here's how we're using it. Here are some things I think could be enhanced. It was totally nice meeting. And at the end he said to me, and what's your role in the video unit? And it was so bizarre. [00:08:33] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:08:34] Speaker B: That it wasn't clear to this person that I was the head of the. [00:08:38] Speaker C: Unit, the executive producer. [00:08:40] Speaker B: What a weird moment. [00:08:41] Speaker C: They just didn't know. I mean, it's not necessarily their fault. You didn't give them the context. Right. [00:08:47] Speaker D: Wow. [00:08:48] Speaker B: Exactly. And so, and that's more than just saying, hi, I'm this title, which obviously that's the most effective, but I think it's just a larger lesson in general of people don't know who you are until you tell them. They're not going to go into the bathroom and google you after you shake their hand. [00:09:07] Speaker E: That's a really good line. I think that's what this is. People don't know who you are until you tell them. We had somebody else on the podcast talking about not being the most interesting person in the room because interested is more interesting. How do you think this interacts with that piece of advice? Being humble and not being the most interesting person in the room or worried about that. [00:09:31] Speaker B: I think there's a way to show someone who you are and all the things that you bring while still making them feel good. Because I think when you talk about being an interested person, that means asking questions and creating a conversation. And I think so many of us already do that. So my advice is think a little bit about that person might like you, but do they know anything about you? And especially in business, whether you're in corporate or you're running your own business, like, make sure people know the level that you're playing on. And I don't think that's exclusionary to being an interested conversation partner. And I also think there are ways that you can let people know who you are and what you do in very charming and fun ways. Like, I always have trophies. My trophy. Well, you don't. Oh, let me turn my camera. [00:10:18] Speaker D: Oh. [00:10:18] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:10:19] Speaker C: Show me. [00:10:19] Speaker B: Okay. I usually have my trophies in the corner of my frame on Zoom. And so I'll just say it in a funny way. Like, I'll be like, I'm Kim Rittberg. I'm an award winning over my shoulder. [00:10:32] Speaker C: That's great. [00:10:34] Speaker B: And I will kind of make a joke of it. So you get that. I think it's important to let you know this, but I'm also slightly uncomfortable with the brag, and I think that there are. Everyone can own their authenticity in different ways, but I think the components of selling yourself. And I have this elevator pitch when I teach in workshops. ABC. If you have an elevator pitch, a, your accomplishments, b, your business, like, what do you actually do, right? And c, confidence. So be confident with how you're saying it. And so I think the ABC components of a really sharp elevator pitch are always there. But in conversation, you make it your own. You know, you're not gonna walk over and, like a robot, like, recite this speech that's gonna totally not make people like you. [00:11:15] Speaker C: You reconcile JB's point of being interested in others view while promoting what you do, and it really can deepen the relationship, because if you. All you're doing is asking questions to try to get to who the other person is, they don't have a clue, really, who you are or what you're about or what you value. And so I think you got to find the right blend. And that's what I hear you saying is find the right blend. [00:11:43] Speaker B: Yeah, because let's say you're asking questions 90% of the time, right? And they're talking 90% of the time. You're talking ten. What if you make that be 70 30 and in that other 20%? I'm so good at math. Let's say we take that 20%, and we make that a little bit less humble, a little bit more. Here's who I am, and here's how I can help you, and we split the difference. And so you're still asking 70% of that conversation is you asking them questions about themselves when the right time comes, that they're like, oh, I love to. You know, I love to travel, and I took all these videos on my travel and blah, blah, blah, and I'm like, oh, like, I just did a shoot in italy for this company and da da da da. You know, I'm still building the rapport. I'm letting them know a little bit about me and the sort of level I'm playing at. Then we're building from there. So I think there's room. Without completely overtaking the conversation and making it all about you, I think there's more room to play. [00:12:43] Speaker C: If you are taking the opportunity to share your accomplishments, you know, not be humble, but really promote yourself, the likely outcome of that is someone says to you, well, can you do this, or can you do that? Or can you do that? And you find yourself in this? I think the natural response to that would be, oh, yeah, sure, I can do anything. Right. [00:13:03] Speaker B: I think that every year, I try to get better at that, but you're totally right. That's a trap. When you're first, like, I want to say yes to everything. I want to be everything to everyone. I can do this. And then as you keep going, growing, both in your career, but as I keep growing my business, I'm like, that's not in my zone of genius. So I am trying every year, trying to be really working in that zone of genius. So every client I'm working with, I'm delivering the most impactful, I like to say, like, so I'm the most Kim ever. I'm bringing them the things that I am best at that are really going to move their business. And I'm not wasting time in those areas where I'm like, I'm a c plus in that. [00:13:40] Speaker C: Yeah, I think you said it well, you said staying in your zone of genius. Boy, I really like that. Your zone of genius. Developing that zone of genius and then promoting that zone of genius isn't that important. [00:13:54] Speaker B: Absolutely. I think, you know, time. Time flies. [00:13:58] Speaker D: Yes. [00:13:58] Speaker B: And so you have to be super conscious that you're only working in your zone of genius. You're really only doing the things you're awesome at. That's going to make happier clients, happier colleagues, happier bosses. And when people come to you and say, can you also do this? Like, let's be real, the things that you're not that good at, they're going to take longer. You're going to have a lower deliverable quality, and you're better off saying, I could, but it's better off if someone else takes it or we outsource that. So I think it's one of those things that it's better. You're better off being honest. [00:14:28] Speaker C: If I am someone who is in a corporate environment and maybe I'm not finding myself with the ability to self promote or brag a little or, you know, get out. Out of my accomplishments. Some advancement. What would you advise someone like that to do? [00:14:48] Speaker B: If you're getting everything you need from your work experience? Maybe you don't need to brag. [00:14:54] Speaker C: Interesting. [00:14:54] Speaker B: You don't need, you know, but I like to say, humility does not pay the bills. [00:15:00] Speaker C: No, I would agree with that. Humility does not pay the bills. And the larger your bills get, as you have families and things, the more that becomes an issue. [00:15:12] Speaker B: I just. I think that it's this whole thing of, like, we just. We think humility is the end all, be all. Humility does not pay the bills, and more people are afraid of being awkward. I'm gonna brag, and it's so awkward. [00:15:24] Speaker D: Yeah. Yeah. [00:15:26] Speaker C: How do you coach executives who maybe they aren't naturally inclined to self promote? [00:15:34] Speaker B: Take it as a data point. We think we're bragging when in fact, we're actually just making a statement. It's just the fact that you're stating. [00:15:42] Speaker C: We're talking about this in the framework of the business world. How does this cross over into our personal lives? [00:15:50] Speaker B: This is a very thorny area you're walking into. I think that my thoughts on humility don't always overlap with the personal sphere, and I have to think about this more, but I think there's a lot of that. It can be mixed feelings sometimes. Jealousy. Sometimes you're proud of someone, but you also feel jealous. Sometimes seeing someone else's accomplishment makes you feel negative. And so I think it's all of those things that people say about social media, that comparisonitis. And so I think you have to be careful in the personal sphere. Like, honestly, when I have a big accomplishment, I tell my mom, my brother, my husband, I don't necessarily bring it to every party and tell every person at a party unless it's, like, a work party. [00:16:35] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:16:35] Speaker C: You know what? I completely relate to what you just said. My dad died, and he was the guy that I would go to and brag about what my kids were doing, and when he passed away, I found myself missing that outlet. [00:16:48] Speaker B: Yeah, you're right. So my father passed away two years ago, and my mother in law passed away in the past few months. And I've been thinking about that is you lose those, the number one, number two cheerleaders in your life, and that's really in addition to all their advice and their love. But everything you do gives them so much pride. It's different when it's other people. You don't know what you're stepping into. Maybe their kids having trouble in school and you saying presidents list rubs them the wrong way. And so I do think that the humility in your personal life, I think it's like a completely different book. It's a totally different book that I would write on that I think it exists in a different sphere because I agree with you. [00:17:29] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:17:30] Speaker B: I think that when you have, you know, grandma and grandpa, no. Number one, number two, cheerleaders. Yeah, it's different. And so I don't apply my humility doesn't pay the bills to my personal relationships. Figure out your audience. Is this the right audience to have this message for? And the humility doesn't pay the bills is absolutely for lead generation, for sales meetings, from elevator pitches. And it's for your boss, is also for your colleagues who are on with you on that project. You're bragging for them, too. [00:17:58] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:17:59] Speaker C: Kim, I think our listeners have gained a lot from what you've shared with us today, because that advice of be humble is probably something advice they've all heard and they buy into it, and they're probably not realizing that it's holding them back a little bit and maybe preventing them from being as effective and as helpful to the clients they work with. I can't thank you enough for joining us and opening up with that. That was really helpful today. [00:18:30] Speaker B: Thank you so much. It was a real pleasure. [00:18:31] Speaker A: Well, JB, that was a pretty interesting path down the road of what it means to, I guess, be humble when you're trying to grow in your career. For me, it's hard because I've always believed humility is noble. But what Kim's really saying is it can really hold you back. [00:18:51] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:18:51] Speaker F: I mean, if you don't sell yourself, who is, you know, that's what I really took from hers is you're the gotta be your biggest advocate. If you don't go out there and tell people who you are, how would they know? [00:19:02] Speaker A: Yeah. And she was really very, I thought, insightful as to just make it be the facts. Like, you're just giving clarity on the. [00:19:10] Speaker C: Roles you're playing and you're not really bragging, per se. [00:19:14] Speaker B: Right. [00:19:14] Speaker F: I really like, too, how she said, how many people do you know that even do this? You know, I mean, if I'm thinking about all the people in my life, I only know people that are like, oh, I don't want to be the center of attention. I don't want to, I want to give credit. And, you know, my wife is somebody I'll say, you know, people say thank you to her, and she, her first response back is, thank you for whatever they did. Not even. You're welcome. [00:19:34] Speaker A: Just sitting back, you kind of put all the eggs in someone else's basket to make the decisions on whether it's time for you to advance or not versus, you know, kind of being able to point out, hey, I did this. [00:19:45] Speaker C: And it was valuable to you. It was valuable to the business. [00:19:48] Speaker F: Exactly. And obviously, we touched on this a little bit, but we have somebody on the podcast who gave the exact opposite advice. So that's one thing about this podcast, is you're going to hear different people giving the same kind of advice from different perspectives and contexts and opposite advice. [00:20:03] Speaker A: Sometimes I really think Kim's advice is. [00:20:05] Speaker C: Really strong, and had I taken more. [00:20:08] Speaker A: Of that advice over the years, maybe I would have been more successful and even more. [00:20:14] Speaker F: I mean, that's where I loved her. 70 30. You know, when we, when we confirmed that she could do math, she was like, let's do 70 30. You know, still. Still try to, you know, bring bail other people up and make sure you're giving credit and all these things. But how about 30%? [00:20:28] Speaker A: Yeah, and humility doesn't pay the bills. [00:20:31] Speaker F: Humility doesn't pay the bill. [00:20:32] Speaker C: That was a great point. [00:20:33] Speaker A: Well, thanks, everybody, for tuning in today. We had a great time listening to what humility means and what humility doesn't mean. And it was a great example of how the worst advice Kim ever got. [00:20:48] Speaker C: Became a great learning point for us all today. [00:20:51] Speaker A: Thanks for joining us. Look forward to seeing you next time. [00:20:54] Speaker C: On the worst advice I ever got.